my return

I have totally abandoned my blog for a long while as you (whoever you may be) may have noticed. Or you might not have and didn't miss me at all. Thanks a lot!

Today, the 14th of June '08, I have arrived in St Ives, Cornwall for a two week holiday now that everything is over. I'm sitting in bed with my laptop in my attic bedroom just a few steps away from Porthmeor beach. I have an amazing view, a lovely sloping ceiling and fishing net decorated walls. There is a even a complimentary surfboard on the floor! I'm not going to want to leave this place!

The only worrying thing are the sounds I am hearing right now. I'm hoping it's the neighbours clattering about next door. If not, there is a possibility of mice above me. Either that or it's the seagulls on the roof but to me to sounds like running...I don't think seagulls run around on roofs. But then again I have never observed seagulls in the middle of night. It's summer; maybe it's their sports season.

Anyway, I'm using the almost peace and quiet to generally catch up with abandoned things and sort my muddled brain out. Despite all my efforts to find a wireless connection to steal, I have no internet here so the following posts will have to be even more backdated. After the months of delay I'm sure another two weeks won't hurt though! I'm hoping I can even remember the above mentioned 'everything' that I'm supposed to be typing about.

The basic update, for the lazy who don't want to read much, is that I have now finished university. I am now supposed to be a normal citizen...

I don't feel particularly ready to go out into the 'real' world yet. I quite like my unreal one, to be honest. My Dad came to pick me and all my belongings up last Wednesday evening to leave my student house for good. 24 hours earlier I hadn't even started packing yet. When I got back from uni on Tuesday afternoon I decided to have an 'hours break' before starting. I went outside in the sunshine and lay on the grass. Once I had laid down there really wasn't much that could make me get up again. I wanted to go to sleep and for everything to all be sorted out when I woke up. Not just my packing either! My packing and my life! Tired, jobless, moneyless and semi-homeless I really wasn't all that motivated to get up out of that grass. I didn't even want to go out to the pub later that night to say Goodbye to everyone on my last night in Wycombe. (As well as a disgraceful laziness) this was down to a well-known thing called denial. If I didn't pack or say Goodbye then it wasn't over yet! There really isn't anything quite like the whole of your uncertain future when it comes down to mind-blowing confusion.

Luckily for me (and my Dad) I finally managed to pack up my things and I even went out on my last night to insist everyone keep in contact. Which in turn means I'm here in St Ives, Yay!

My arrival here, in the greater scheme of things, was an extremely unremarkable event for the world. But I insist on romanticizing it anyway because in my tiny little mind it was great.
The unspectacular beginning to my 'spectacular' entrance was being dumped in a Tesco car park just outside of St Ives. My place in our campervan was reallocated to a load of shopping bags so I ended up walking the last mile or so to this house. Anyone who has been to St Ives knows that you have to come down a hill to get to the town so that's the way I headed. I really felt when I got my first glimpse of the place as I came over the hill as if I'd been walking for weeks and had finally got to my destination. And, no, this was nothing to do with my disgraceful laziness. It was as if all my months of (debatably) hard work were leading to this moment and to be truthful it really was what I had been aiming for in times of crisis. 'It'll all be over soon. I'm going to St Ives.' So, as I walked through the streets on my own (bar the residents, fisherman, shopkeepers and groups of tourists) it was like I had discovered the little town for myself. Many had tragically fallen on the way but I had made it.
There has been talk of a statue on the harbour front but I have refused. I want my good people of St Ives to spend their money on keeping the place lovely for when I discover it again next time...